I have kissed enough frogs, now where is my Prince?

The end of my frantic dating has come to an end and it is unfortunately not because I found someone.

I have been continuously dating for 3 months. I have dated out of my usual boundaries- something rather new and scary for me. I have been out with men who are usually below my radar and I have come to realise something, the heart wants what it wants, and what mine wants is a 6ft2 tall, athletic/rugby player built manly man with a laidback attitude and a cheeky smile- does anyone know of such a catch?

Any who if you are wondering what happened to all those men some AKA as frogs, I was dating well let me enlighten you;

*Swedish guy, as hot as he was he was a non starter. A bit of a teaser. You know the type; give you all kinds of hope only to never deliver. I only stuck for it as long as I did (2 weeks) because he resembled my crush Freddie Lljungberg.

*French Guy was waaayyy to intense for my liking. He also struck me as the jealous type-ewwww! So we had one date and I never returned for more. Last I heard he is back with his ex girlfriend, I wonder if she resembles Serena Williams.

*Young Man, a sweet 23 year old who made for good boyfriend material if he had been 10 years older and not straight out of University. We clicked, we kissed we dated if only for a brief while!

*Atlanta boy was a non starter from the beginning. Cursed with the wandering the eye, he would happily notice other females while on dates with me. Even when I adorned my lucky mini skirt and killer heels his eyes continued to be distracted- damn him! Besides his chat up lines seem to only tempt the most desperate of hood rats making them total kryptonite to any decent normal girl like moi. So he did not sway me, because I am sure the last time I checked the words hood and rat did not apply to me.

*Rich Guy seems to be a Harry. Not much to look at first, second or third glance, but at fourth glance one will notice the naughtiness in his eyes and the constant cheeky grin. I thought he was a banker, but recently he corrected me, he is actually a lawyer. He is an over confident man’s man- think Wall Street, think Gordon Grekko. Funnily enough I have kept him around, so let’s see if a bird and a fish can make it.

Lastly let’s bow our heads and remember the men who just did not make the cut:

The school teacher- cute but dull, dull, dull oh my and really cheap too.

Church boy- he lost me as soon as the words “I go to church every Sunday would you come with me?" left his mouth. I mean come on, I know that I am raised catholic and what not but church on Sunday? You are more likely to find me having brunch at smiths of Smithfield!

LSGS

Taking a chance on a Mr Big

For the last 2 months since I started my dating quest, I have been pursued by a Mr Big type man. He has been insisting for several weeks that he can “rock my world”, and refers to me as “princess”- mmmmm right? Any who I have ignored his advances for dinner at Nobu, including him suggesting the perfect night of wooing me at his riverside apartment, how chessy!
I find men who try to woo you with the size of their wallet terribly vulgar and unnecessary. If my only goal was to find a man with money I would have married many moons ago. I seek someone with substance and intellect too, oh yes I cannot lie a hot body won’t go amiss- yum yum.

All that being said I must be blunt and honest and say that marrying poor is not an option for me either. The only way that would happen is if cupid decides to play a crude joke on me and I end up with a guy who whose lack of ambition keeps his pockets empty- mmmmm a very scary thought indeed!

So will I be taking a chance on Mr Big? I have decided, with the urge from my fantastic friends, that i will be saying yes to his offer of dinner, because when a man on holiday on the other side of the world can find time in his day to send little old me a text message enquiring after my health, then I know I can at least spare an hour or two to meet up with him for drinks at some overpriced bar which I have feeling he would just love- sigh!

LSGS

OMG, the dating world has gone "foot" mad!

Ok, when it comes to dating I am a big believer in "each to their own". People are tempted by different things when it comes to attraction. For me it’s a tall black athletic hunk with a deep voice, man smell and tattoos (sigh) - oi you do not judge, the heart wants what it wants, then again I think in my case the body wants what it wants (blush)!


Anywho, I was looking through some dating sites, for research purpose (clear of throat), and I came across a website with the above photo as its main attraction. My first thought was "ewwww how big are that mans feet", quickly followed by "her red toe nails could be used as weapons of mass destruction"

Admitingly, I found the photo slightly disturbing, not because of the obvious reason 2 races (black and white) intertwined, oh no, like I said each to their own, but the photo itself with the two feet does not scream find everlasting love for me, it just screams out ewwww what is that about?


There are many dating sites out there (match.com, e-harmony) who are going to be stiff competition for this website, surely its foot photo is not tempting potential subscribers to come on board? maybe except those with foot fetishes!


So it is on this note that I must ask that you allow me to put £10 down as a bet because I truly believe that this dating site will not be around long- give it a month, because its inevitable end wont be due to the credit crunch oh no, the picture alone has long since sealed its doomed fate.



LSGS

Rejoice...men have truely set us free!!!

When it comes to the girly gossiping that one does with close girlfriends, the weekly topic of the Brazilian always comes up. I am not referring to some yummy oiled Brazilian man with a toothy mega white smile, oh no, I am referring to the pruning of one’s lady garden.

Every girl I know needs, as opposed to wants, to get their bushes maintained regularly. Some of my girlfriends swear that it is for “their own satisfaction”, but I have sneaky suspicion that their boyfriends/husbands/lovers are also given a neat garden to play in because we care that they see everything as just so. I am sure if one of my friends was brave enough to present to her beau a 1970’s style bush that they would fear that their lover would run a mile and never return.

After a bit of research consisting of embarrassing questions directed towards some of my male friends I found out that the majority of men do not prefer the plucked chicken look. They understand that it is a look reserved for the females in the adult business and they therefore do not expect their lovers to adhere to the rules bestowed upon porn stars. Also another important fact that they stressed to me was that they will not turn down a bit of slap tickle no matter the state of one’s garden- ewwww guys are sooooo desperate sometimes!

So ladies, the men have indeed set us free, so it is now up to you to accept this and not have to put yourself through a torture that has to be worse than child birth. Why not embrace the style of the 1970’s and see what the freedom will produce. Anyway no one, except those invited to view, can see your lady garden but remember we all can see your armpits, eyebrows and moustache so please do not allow them to grow wild- because that would just be unsightly!

LSGS

Perfecting the art of “we are just having fun right?”

An amazing friend of mine, let’s call her Yoda- my pet name for her, has lately been giving me great advice on the soap opera that is my love life. She has been teaching me the art of “we are just having fun right?” It is a talk that sometimes needs to be bestowed upon men to put a stop to any serious relationship talks. In order for me to make sense let me take you back.

As you know, I have been dating Young Man for 2 months now. Our thing, as I like to call it, has reached a cross road therefore raising the unspoken question of where to next. This is a topic I wish not to touch on yet as I do not want to make any brash decisions yet. So Yoda taught me how to have the, "we are just having fun" talk with guys. The art comes from being able to say it without upsetting the unsuspecting guy. The talk should reassure him that you love his company but also let him know that under no circumstances would he be marching you up the aisle anytime soon.

After many talks and lessons from the fabulous Yoda, I now feel that I have perfected this art and that it is now time to carry it out on Young Man. I must say that I feel terribly guilty that I am going to let him know that we will never be serious. Yes a snog here and there is great- he is an amazing kisser- but anything beyond that is a no-no!

If only he was not missing the 2 non-negotiable ingredients that I require in a potential mate then I know deep in my heart (which feels rather shallow at the moment) that we could have been discussing another matter indeed- the colour of my wedding dress Virgin white or classic cream but alas no.

It is on his note that I hope you bid me good luck, because breaking someone’s heart is not a sport that I plan on perfecting. Poor boy, but I am sure at 23 he will recover.

LSGS

PS- By the way let me acknowledge that I know that I did a disappearing act the last few weeks, and did not blog as regulary, sorry folks but I got caught up in the dating game, it wont happen again (blush)!