The Last Single Girl standing?

A Man's Perfect Catch

2011-05-19T10:35:00.003+01:00

What is a catch for the average male? We all know that men love a good looking girl with a killer body, i mean thats a given. But what do they truely seek in a mate.

I put this question to many of my male friends, colleagues, and even my alpha male brothers and this is what i was told that their ideal partner would have the following attributes (looks and killer body aside):

Is single
Educated and smart
Confident and outgoing
Has a job
Has no children
Does not live with parents
Can laugh at herself
Has a good sense of humour
Can sometimes be one of the boys (not all the time though)
Sex
Has maternal instincts
Can cook
Wants kids
Can let me hang with my boys
Can pretend to enjoy watching sports (i laughed at that one)
Has her own teeth and hair- unless the extentions look good.

When I had compiled the list I looked at it and thought this describes the majority of my beautiful single friends (and my single self too) so what does this mean? Maybe they like the idea of their ideal woman possessing some if not all of the above but when confronted with a woman like that in reality they get the case of 'its not you, it's me'. A shame we do not come with a 28 days returns receipt, just an easily broken heart.

LSGS

Spelling Bee Champion.... not when i am ranting!

2011-01-14T09:37:00.004Z

A good friend and avid follower of my blog rants pointed out to me today that "oi you, you have millions of spelling and grammer errors in that last blog post". My first thought was "OMG, I make a living out of writing, and I am known as a total grammer Nazi, so how is this so?".

Then I realised that when i am rambling on in my blog my mind truely switches off- as i get into rant mode. My "wheres" becomes "weres", my "excepts" becomes "accepts" and so forth. This is my time to put my anal ways aside and just write.

But going forward, Ms Spot the spelling/grammer mistake, I will be sure to check and double check my post before publishing it- Scouts honour!!!

LSGS

When a girl compromises

2011-01-13T20:58:00.003Z

When you start reaching a certain and age and you are still a single unmarried woman you can go one of two ways:

(1) you still believe that you are going to get tall dark handsome dream man or else, you will rather stay single and settle on a tabby cat for company

OR

(2) you decide to compromise and take the attitude of so what "he is only 5ft3" or "has bad dandruff" or "is a bit fat" or "picks his nose and eats it" or "he is a street sweeper" or even "so what he has the face only a mother can love", you compromise because you want to find someone who loves you and you want to get (lets say it together girls) "MARRIED".

Well I decided in the New Year to try out option 2, and 13 days into 2011 I am about to break the resolution, and let me tell you why.

I decided to give a rather geeky and might I add ginger man a chance. He had been bugging me for a date since October 2010, and I had been refusing because I thought "he is sooooo not my type". Then at the start of the year, he was still being persistent, so I decided that a New Year, New Start attitude might serve me well in 2011. So when he asked me out yet again, I said yes.

At first he seemed shocked that I finally caved in and with his confidence boosted he started to text me sweet nothings. After some chit chat we arranged to meet for drinks, I thought dinner could easily turn into a longwinded affair, and that just drinks keeps it short and sweet. So I suggested Wednesday evening and he agreed.

I felt happy that I had decided to give him chance. He seemed nice and sometimes love can come blossom with men you never thought you could love. Note: we made the date on Sunday evening.

On Monday, I hear nothing from him and I think nothing of it. Tuesday, still nothing and find that a bit strange considering his enthusiusm before, Wednesday morning I have heard nothing still and wondered whether we were still meeting. 5pm Wednesday evening still not a peep from Mr Enthusiusm. I decide not to call/text him to ask him why he hasnt been in touch, a girl has her pride you know.

So Date Night AKA Wednesday evening comes and goes, and nothing. Now it is Thursday evening and I am still wondering what happened to him. He still hasnt been in touch. After being so persistent for over 3 months to get a date I am quite pissed off (excuse the language) that he is playing deaf and dumb with me.

All I have to say now is that he better be meeting his maker or on his way there, because there really is no other excuse that I am willing to except, especially since i comprised my wants and allowed a nobody the opportunity to ask a somebody for a date.

LSGS

Saluting our ex loves, Ghetto Fabulous style...x

2011-01-10T19:53:00.013Z

Ladies (and some gentlemen)....

Lets bow our heads and salut all our past, present and future ex lovers by singing along loud and proud (something I have been doing today) to ghetto fabulous Keyshia Cole's "I Changed my Mind"- I am feeling generous today so just click on the link below and enjoy her music video below- enjoy!

This song, right next to disco queen Gloria Gaynor's "I will Survive", should be the national anthem for singles everywhere who are going through or have been through a (bad) breakup.

LSGS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbE1qz8wktQ

Restoring my faith in relationships- couples style!

2011-01-09T22:57:00.004Z

Sometime between my optimistic love is all around phase, and my all men are bastards phase, I have found myself fighting the need to not wallow in the world of "I will never find someone".

I have slowly but surely been turning into a cynical 30 something- sad but true. That being said my saviour has come in the form of my favourite couple, lets call them Mr and Mrs AB. Whilst spending New Years with them they managed the impossible- restoring my faith in relationships (whisper- and men).

Mr and Mrs AB are a fabulous married couple. Mrs AB and I are friends. She is a great giggle and we always enjoy each others company. Mr AB is her patient husband who always keeps smiling even when Mrs AB and I turn into two overexcited females when discussing shopping and other frivilous topics, he just always looks at us with an amused look.

They are truely a couple who have found the holy grail of marriage. They have a love and respect for eachother that we all seek but rarely find. I look at them and think "ahhhhh", and having spent New Years with them, I am now thinking "double ahhhhh".

Mr and Mrs AB are not alone, I would say 90% of my friends are either in a long term relationships or already married. It is only I and one other friend who still grace the land of singledom. We are eachother's cheerleader and always discuss the good, the bad, and the ugly of the single life. She knows who she is.

Coming back to the topic at hand, whilst in NY I was constantly around Mr and Mrs AB, they made me believe in the fact that there truely is someone out there for everyone. It is not about finding the perfect man, but about finding someone who can love you for all that you are- the good and the bad.

So Mr and Mrs AB, thank you for restoring my faith in finding love. If I even find a slither of what you have, then I know that I am going to be happy woman indeed.

-LSGS

Taking the time tunnel....OMG I have never felt soooo old!!!

2010-12-18T23:26:00.006Z

Today I took a trip down memory lane, whilst flipping through a photo album.

Do you remember life before the ipod, cd's, DVD's and reality tv! Which brings me to the question, are you an 80's kid or 90's kid? Keep reading and you will blush with embarrasement, cry with laughter or even just smile as you think of the days when you were young....

You were an 80's Kid if...

1. You had a crush on one of the New Kids on the Block members.
2. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off.
3. You wore a banana clip or one of those slap on wristbands at some point during your youth.
4.You wore French rolls on the bottom of your splatter painted jeans. You had slouch socks, and puff painted your own shirt at least once.
5. You owned a doll with 'Xavier Roberts' signed on its butt.
6. You know the profound meaning of ''Wax on, Wax off.''
7. You can name at least half of the members of the elite ''Brat Pack.''
8. You can remember watching Full House and Saved by the Bell for endless hours!!!!!!
9. You have seen at least 10 episodes of Fraggle Rock. You know that another name for a keyboard is a ''Synthesizer."
10. You hold a special place in your heart for ''Back to the Future.''
11. You know where to go if you ''Wanna go where everybody knows your name.''
12. You thought Molly Ringwald was REALLY cool. (Was there an 80's movie she WASN'T in?) You know what ''Sike'' means.
13. You fell victim to 80's fashion: big hair, crimped, combed over to the side, and you wore spandex pants
14. You wanted to be a Goonie - (hey u guyz!!)You owned an extensive collection of Cabbage Patch Kids and trolls.
15. You actually saw Ted Danson as the MacDaddy he played ''Sam'' to be.
16. You ever wore fluorescent -neon if you will clothing...(or nail polish)
17. You could break dance, or wished you could.
18. You remember when ATARI was a state of the art video game system. (Remember Pong)
19. You know all the words to ''Ice Ice Baby''.You remember MC hammer well, and you can still sing the rap to "Fresh Prince of Bel Air"
20. You own any cassettes.
21. You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we'd all be living on the moon.
22. You remember and/or own any of the CareBear Glass collection from Pizza Hut.
23. Poltergeist freaked you out.
24. You carried your lunch to school in a Gremlins or an ET lunchbox.
25. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf.
26. You wanted to communicate with some being named Cinergy.
27. You wanted to have an alien like Alf living in your house.
28. You wore biker shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish.
29. You wore tights under shorts and felt stylish.
30. You ever had a Swatch Watch.
31. You actually spent countless hours trying to perfect the care-bear stare.
32. You remember when Saturday Night Live was funny.
33. You had Wonder Woman or Superman underwear.
34. You wanted to be The Hulk for Halloween.You Believed that ''By the power of Greyskull, you HAD the power'
'35. You thought that Transformers were more than meets the eye.

Partying ''like it's 1999'' seemed SO far away!!!!!!!!!!!!

You were a 90's KID if...

1. You once used Wella Plum mousse or Sun-in in your hair that you thought it was totally original and highly stylish.
2. You owned a compilation tape with top tunes such as "Mr.Vain", "What is love" and "Rhythm is a dancer"
3. You owned a pair of Nike Air Max.
4. You wore plastic dummies around your neck, the bigger and more luminous the better
5. You owned a Benneton/NafNaf jumper
6. You went away and returned with a hair braid
7. You owned scrunchies in array of colours
8. You remember when Blur was better than Oasis.
9. You went to or dreamed about going to a smash hits concert
10. You remember when sweet valley high was a book
11. 10p crisps! e.g. Meanies, Wheelies
12. Levi 501's
13. Captain planet, James Bond junior and Sharkie and George crime busters of the sea!
14. Puffa jackets
15. Impulse body spray
16. You remember life before alco-pops
17. Don't forget your toothbrush with Chris Evans
18. You had at least one troll
19. You know the dance to the Macarena and Saturday night
20. You believed 2 unlimited died in a car crash (they didn't)
21. You watched Baywatch and longed for the day that Eddie and Shauna got together.
22. Swatch Pop watches, your friend could show you the time from at least 20 feet away
23. You owned a Mood ring
24. You went into the Body shop to put on vanilla or white musk perfume
25. Black velvet hair bands with a puffy bit on top
26. Shell Suits and Bum Bags
27. Count Duckula and Trap-Door
28. Black velvet chokers with a little pendant hanging from them
29. You longed to live in Beverly Hills 90210
30. Fruit shaped and scented soaps that usually came from a body shop basket you got for your birthday! That and nail-varnish.
31. Waistcoats on girls
32. You couldn't listen to Salt 'n' Pepa around your parents
33. Fruit salads and Black jacks
34. Who framed Roger Rabbit?
35. Ear cuffs/Muffs

As for me I was a '79 baby and shamefully remember things from both lists. Memories are meant to be treasured, so if you can even admit to having worn a bright yellow/pink/green shell suit, thought yourself cool by shouting "By the power of grey skull, I have the power" at top of your lungs in the school playground, or that you even proudly sang along to Vanilla Ice while waiting in anticipation and gossiping with friends about his movie debut then you are truly a brave person. As for me I am pleading the 5th and on that note i bid you Au reviour!

LSGS

When men become my plaything

2010-12-13T23:05:00.003Z

I must admit something, some people collect stamps, others collect shoes (something that I do too) and then there is the woman, who like myself, collect admirers.

It is only recently that I have come to realise that I have a collection of men who I like to keep on tap. So whenever the need arises in me, I am not talking about sex (mind and gutter people), oh no, I shamefully keep them around for a good old fashioned ego boost. I know, I know its bad, but I cannot help myself.

It is just that sometimes I get bored and when I am bored I like to call them for a good chin wag (which means a great conversation my non-british friends) with my admirers, and when I have had my fill I say goodbye and never bother with them until next time- sigh- terrible I know! It is just that, they are men I dated but I could not have a relationship with because the spark was missing, which leaves the men in limbo with me- they are not quite friends and yet they are not relationship material.

You might think that the men might get tired of our flimsy excuse for a friendship but they do not. They seem to happily allow me to pick them up when i want them, and just as quickly set them down when i am done.

So on that note, all i can say is "dance my puppets, dance".

LSGS

Ugly and Rich VS Goodlooking and Poor

2010-12-11T00:41:00.003Z

A good friend of mine recently accused me for always hooking up with very good looking but dirt poor men. It made me wonder, do I really go for the pennyless goodlooking men? Well I must admit that the last two guys I dated weren't exactly rolling in it (one even lived with his mother -blush) but boy where they goodlooking, so maybe she is onto something here.

In my 20's i dated bankers and lawyers who blew their noses onto 100 dollar bills. Now it seems that in my 30's I am surrounding myself with men who might be easy on the eye but could probably only afford to buy you a McDonalds on the saver menu. Why is that? Poor goodlooking men are usually the kind of men one would date in their 20's because money and security is of little importance, but i seem to be doing it in reverse.

I do wonder though whether I could date an ugly rich person, probably not. Lord knows i do have sweet tooth for eye candy, so poor he might be but at least he will make great arm candy, for now anyway or until i stumble upon that rare rich and goodlooking. Then again i think i am more likely to win the lottery which could then help fund mine and my poor goodlooking guy's lifestyle-mmm food for thought, best go buy a lotto ticket for tomorrows draw!

LSGS

LSGS goes MIA....all because of hair!!!

2010-12-10T00:28:00.008Z

Hellooooooooo are you all still out there?.... I know that it has been a while. I am soooooo sorry but I have been having a hair moment (slightly more important then a romance moment).

You see a few weeks ago I got my hair cut. My hair when straightened graced the bottom of my neck. I decided a while ago that i wanted my hair cut, the style Rhianna had circa 2006. I printed out a photo and took it to what i thought was a reputable hair salon- I had no idea that when i sat in the hairdressers chair that I had just signed my beautiful hairs death warrant.

Anywho to continue, i showed the rather scary hairdresser (that should have been my first warning) my photo of Rhianna, she nodded and silently began. Taking a quick glance at her own hair which she had very little off (second warning) I decided to let her work her so called magic. After all the treatments blah blah blah , she got to the point where she started to cut my hair, i watched her closely. About 15 mins into the cut I noticed that there seemed to be a lot more hair on the floor then my head. I told her that i thought she was cutting way too much off, and her response was (in a strong jamaican accent) "I know what I am doing man".

Two hours and a half later from when she first started she had completed the look, and when i glanced in the mirror i thought "OMG where has my hair gone". The woman had given me a hairstyle that i never asked for. Something that was wayyyy too dramatic for me. I was in total shock.

As i walked out of the salon, i thought to myself "what the hell have i done". I could not believe i paid a crazy Edward Scissor hands wannabe to butcher my hair. When i got home i broke down. I cried 'poor me' tears like those girls off Americas Next Top Model until my eyes where swollen. My mother tried to calm me, but nothing could soothe me so i took an asprin and went to bed early, something i had not done in a long time.

I know that it is only hair and that it will grow, but damn it I feel so unfeminine. My friends have told me that it is cute. But boy do i sometimes look at my self and think why me? So now I am trying to look on the bright side. Trying to find a way of styling it so i do not feel so butch. New earrings maybe. Yes with my short hair, i might have to be all about the earrings. One friend suggested that i adorn sexy heels all the time so i can look more feminine.

Anywho lovelies, I hope that you are well. On the man front, my new hairstyle is pulling in the youngsters. I am constantly chatted up by boys who have barely been weened off their mothers breast. It is like the young 18-21 year old boys feel that I, a 31 year old woman, look young enough to be asked out by them. Mmmmmm maybe this hairstyle is going to bring out the cougar in me, well it sure beats bringing out the butch side!

LSGS

THIS IS THE HAIRCUT I ASKED FOR (this is the exact photo I showed):

THIS IS THE HAIR CUT I HAVE ENDED UP WITH:

No Nookie....part 2

2010-10-18T21:40:00.004+01:00

A few days ago i shared a little nugget with you when i said "no more nookie'" until i am in an 'adult' relationship, and the response that I got from by beloved blog readers was 'for the love of God woman, why stop?'

So i thought 'hmmmmm'. In my defence, allow me to add that I have been finding it all exhausting. I know that us women sometimes convince ourselves how fabulouly empowering it is to hop into bed with some sexy random, but there are times when it just isn't worth it you know!??!

When it comes to moi, the idea of going through the maybe broken condom, 24 hours of nausea from the morning after pill, 3 months wait until the HIV test could be assuredly negative and ducking and diving calls from Mr Lover, nearly drove this girl into an insane asylum stat. So I will hold fast to my decision blog readers and maybe get a hobby- knitting maybe.

LSGS

STOP-THE-PRESS: All that being said, I have a date on Wednesday, with A cutie who is taking me for cocktails and jazz- so fingers crossed that he is more than just a passing maybe!!!

No more nookie until....

2010-10-11T19:41:00.003+01:00

....I am in a relationship.

My reason for closing shop is because i am not the type of girl to have meaningless sex. Admittingly i wish i could be a bit like Samantha (of SATC), and that whenever I have an itch I can just get a hot guy to scratch it, but for some reason meaningless sex leaves me feeling rather empty and hallow, well the couple (literally) of times i have done it!

A good friend of mine, said that all a girl needs is "a good electrical equipment (nudge, nudge, wink, wink)" to keep things chugging along nicely. Mmmmmm lets pause for a moment, as I ponder whether I am ready to buy my first ever, dare i say it, dildo.

In a SATC episode they spoke well of the Rabbit, a pink and oddly shaped pleasure instrument that scares the hell out of me. It looks akward and quite blah, and the penis shaped dildos look to much like a well dressed cucumber- stop laughing you know that you agree with me, a veiny cucumber-lol!

So whats a girl to do? Well first and foremost, I should avoid shirtless pics of Reggie Bush and Josh Duhamel whilst repeating the following "meaningless sex for you eats at your soul" and finally if all else fails I will google "good vibrators" and see what comes up. This will be just in case my no nookie reaches the 12 month mark with no Mr Right in sight- a quite depressing thought so lets not dwell!!!

Wish me and my mini me luck!

-LSGS

ps- recommendations welcomed!!!

365 days later, LSGS turns a Year Old!

2010-08-09T00:03:00.005+01:00

Yes, LSGS is a year old.

I cant believe that I have been blogging for a year, and I am still yet to find my Mr Big. I guess Carrie Bradshaw (of SATC), I am not.

Maybe i should ditch the Long Island Ice Teas and impossible high heels for a cat called Tabitha and a big woolly cardigan. Then again, I think not, writing this blog keeps me smiling, and my fabulous friends keep me sane.

Happy Birthday LSGS and Happy Hunting to all my single gals- lets raise our cocktails to another year!!!

The night that The A Team stole 2 hours of my life!!!

2010-08-08T17:47:00.003+01:00

Last night my sister and I decided to relive our youth and go and see the A Team. I was expecting 2 and half hours of wham, bam thank you mam.

With my nibbles in hand and settled in my very comfy seat I was ready to watch what was once my favourite TV programme.

To cut a long story short, I was very dissapointed! I sat in a dark room with strangers happily farting and loudly munching on their popcorn throughout the entire movie. Who would purposely put themselves through that for a bad movie ? nobody i tell you!

So to conclude my rant, I would not recommend this movie to anyone. In 2 short hours the A Team 2010 very swiftly, rewrote my childhood memories of my TV favourite and made it an untouchable.

Lastly, I know, I know you probably expected to read a juicy tale from my dating life but I had to share this nugget with you. You have been warned my lovelies, dont do it, even for a glance of the super hot Bradley Cooper, who was the lovable Face. He was indeed a welcome balm to the pain i was in watching this film, I loved that he appeared shirtless throughout the entire film !!!

LSGS

Introducing the Tube Gentleman

2010-08-02T20:57:00.005+01:00

On my tube ride this morning, I witnessed the urban myth that is the Tube Gentleman.

The tube gentleman is typically a well dressed 9-5 man who rides the tube during rush hour on his way to and from work. You can easily spot the tube gentleman among the sea of other male suits by how he reacts when a seat becomes free on a crowded tube.

When one is riding an overcrowded tube, there is nothing more sought after than a seat. When one becomes free everyone circles it like a pack of hungry wolves. All those already seated watch with eager anticipation to see who will pounce first and win the coveted seat.

When a seat becomes free near a tube gentleman he first spends the about 10 seconds hesitating and looking around to see if any female travellers want the seat. His face shows signs of anxiousness as the feminists among the females ignore his silent offer. The thing is he rarely voices his offer of the free seat, he fears an angry rejection by women who seem to the have accepted that chivalry is truly dead- its not ladies. Only when he is sure no females want the seat will he sit himself down and take his first relaxed breath as his anxiousness settles down.

I raise my apple martini to you, tube gentleman. Know that when you offer me a seat after I have spent all day in my favourite but unforgiving 4 inch heels, I love you a little bit more everyday!

LSGS

Hair extentions go bye bye!

2010-08-01T20:55:00.004+01:00

This week, I decided to make a drastic change, I took out the extentions that I have worn for 4 years on and off. I decided to cut my own hair shorter. It is not exactly Solange Knowles/Halle Berrry (circa 1995) short, but it is the shortest I have ever had it (gulp).

Now that my extentions have gone bye, bye I feel super naked without the flowing hair attached to my head. I feel quite unsexy. I have no idea how Rhianna and all the other women embracing short hair do it. I feel like my feminity has disappeared, and has been replaced with a slightly dare I say butchness. I do wonder if us women are engineered to think long hair is best- mmmmm food for thought!

I am finding that without my locks the boys are no longer coming out to play. The attention I used to get from men has diminished. It seems that they dont "dig" my short style. It is like they prefer the flowing extentions I once had rather than my own fabulous luxurious hair. Why is that? My extentions are fake and not my own. Men sure are strange creatures.

Saying that, it is not like I am not getting male attention, I do still get the odd whistle here and there but I now get a different type of man. My sister said "yeah now you do not attract the ghetto type of man who love all that fake hair, nails and Lord knows what else. Now you grab the attention of the more sophisticated type."- mmmmm!!!!

Lastly, I am sad that without my flowing locks, the boys no longer come out to play. Everyday I fight the urge to put them back in. I do love my short hairstyle, its cute, and its good to run my fingers through my hair without feeling the stitches of my attached extentions. So I will continue to be strong, at least for a while and enjoy the beauty of my own hair which, thank the heavens, actually stays on my head instead of decorating my newly carpeted floor like my hair extentions used too!!!-ewwwww right?!?

LSGS

Tackling the Kissing Urban myth

2010-07-30T02:20:00.004+01:00

DISCLAIMER TO SENSITIVE: go no further if exploring the "who is better at kissing urban myth" easily offends ones sensibilities!

The Wesley Snipes/ Woody Harrelson film stated that White Men Can't Jump, and this might be true but one thing I know is that they sure know how to kiss- boy oh boy!

I might not be an equal opportunity dater quite yet (I am still attempting to open those dating borders), but I am most certainly an equal opportunity kisser. In my 31 years, I have only kissed 7 guys- I was a slow starter so sue me.

Out of the 7 men, 4 of them where white guys, who where definetely the better kissers. My experience thus far has led to the conclusion that so far some (stressing on the some) black guys, who where complete adonis', kissed like over excited puppies- ewwww!

What has baffled me about the snogging sessions that I had with the lucky buggers (yeah I said they where the lucky ones), is that why, oh why where the black guys i kissed either so-so or really bad yet when it came to the white guys all i can say is "wow". My question to you is, is it really a race thing or is it luck of the draw?

I have posed this question to a friend of mine who is a quite the connoisseur of all types of men. I am sure she holds a PhD in sexual satisfaction. As an equal opportunity dater whose experience knows no bounds I knew her answer to to this question would be an interesting one. Her response was that in her experience, black men were better at sex than the white guys and so therefore do not try so hard at the kissing, whilst white men are so-so at the sex but have the kissing hands down. She also added with a smirk, that ugly guys always try harder to please in bed than the pretty boys who expect you to do all the work. So for a good satisfying session one should always go ugly. My response was "oh!"

Another friend added her 10cents by confirming that she agrees that white men are better kissers. She is in her first relationship with a white guy (she has decided to look further a field for some male companionship) and she said she is amazed that his kisses take her to the moon and back. When I asked her about the sex she said "we are working on it".

I conclude that although my best kiss was with a white guy- BTW his kisses made me float into the land of great kisses- I do believe that whoever i fall in love with , it will be my love for him that will make me walk on clouds and give my the butterflies (smile).

On another note let me add as much as I love a good snog (whenver I can get one- blush), I would take Reggie Bush on whether or not he is a good kisser. Who am I kidding, a guy that scrumptious must be able to perform tongue acrobatics that you leaving wanting more (sigh).

My Reggie Bush obsession continues.

LSGS

Plenty of fish in the sea? Well not in my pond!

2010-07-13T02:14:00.006+01:00

Whilst sitting on my rather large sofa on Sunday watching the West Wing box set, my mind wandered. The last few weeks I have had a slight heavy heart. This came about following a conversation with a friend who smugly made me realise that the small pool of men that I am currently swimming in is going to getting smaller, and smaller the older I get.

I replayed the conversation in my head as I drooled over Sam (played by Rob Lowe- I swear that man gets hotter the older he gets). That was when I realised that to be able to keep it at reasonable size, I need to open up the borders that I set up 10 years. You see, us women (and some sissy metro sexual men) happily set up borders in our early 20's so as to ensure that undesirable men who do not meet our requirements get an automatic "no" you may not enter.

This opening of dating borders decision was not reached lightly. I must admit that I will not open all my borders, I mean that would just be madness. So what borders am I considering widening? Well I am thinking that my "only black men" rule which I have been abiding too since I entered the dating game could do with a slight widening. Sure, I have once or twice dilly daddled with men who were not black, but I never took it too seriously. I was just whetting my appetite.

To continue, my "only black men" rule is not so much a rule but a preference. I am majorly attracted to the beauty of a black man. It is not so much a race thing, but more to do with what makes me tick, and whenever I am in the company of a handsome black man my clock ticks and tocks, it is just a shame that not many are available in my petite pond- sigh.

So the reality of it is that maybe if I do not limit myself with my preference for only black guys, maybe, just maybe I might find someone to stand still with for a minute. Someone who I would never have picked out for myself 10 years ago.

It is true that he could end up being the handsome black man of my dreams, but then again he could so easily just be a handsome man who loves me warts and all. But let me be clear there is one rule/border that I wont budge on and that is 'the man should be tall' (6ft and over) because Lord knows I refuse to give up my beloved heels for a vertically challenged man, because that will be asking way too much of me, i kid you not!!!

LSGS

Weirdos vs 30 something women everywhere

2010-07-01T23:46:00.004+01:00

Why is it that as soon as we enter our 30's the weird men our mothers warned us about come out of the woodworks.

You know the type- the greasy, creepy individuals with bad hygiene. They force themselves into our world as if they believe that just because we are older with loud ticking biological clocks that we will be desperate enough to say "yes" to every ugly male who bestows his attention. I mean come on, I would rather choose the spinisters life thank you very much!

So on that note I say lets band together my 30 something sisters, and say "no, we are not desperate enough to stoop that low (yet)", because Lord knows if another gormless fool with quite a questionable dress sense approaches me with a wink and a smile I will surely loose the last few marbles that survived the cosmo swilling days of my 20's.

LSGS

"I joined match.com, and ended up with my very own stalker!!!"

2010-07-01T00:42:00.004+01:00

Tonight, I was having dinner at my friends house. As we ate yummy food, sipped good wine and complained about the hot weather upon us lately my mobile phone rang.

Leaving the room, I looked at the unknown number flashing across my screen. Debating whether i should answer it, i decided "why the hell not". Before i could say hello, i heard creepy heavy breathing on the other side. Taking a firm tone I asked " who is his", to which my caller replied "is this M********?". Deciding not to answer his question I asked again who was calling, to which he responded "its Ali, can i speak to M********?". It was then the penny dropped, how the hell did this guy who i had been speaking to on match.com two weeks ago get my number, because I surely did not give it to him.

I met this Ali character when I was tempted back to match.com by a 3 day free trial. I thought why the hell not, my slow dating life was at the point of non-existence and in need of an emergency revamp. So signing back onto my old profile, i spent Day 1 skimming potential beaus, winking at a few cuties, and blocking those who seemed to possess the Glenn-Close-in-fatal-attraction gene.

Day 2, I started to speak to Ali. He looked cute in his photo and he seemed 'normal-ish'. We emailed back and forth, keeping up a light hearted banter. I met and talked to other guys who never seemed to make the grade. All that being said I was enjoying the attention and loving the compliments.

Day 3, I told Ali my free membership was nearly over and tha I had decided not to continue onto a paid membership. I gave him my email address, and said that when he is next in London, as he lived outside the city, that he should email me and we can maybe meet for a coffee.

Four days after I cancelled my membership, match.com was quickly becoming a fading memory. It was then that I heard from Ali. He sent me an email that was polite and was written in way that confimed that he wanted to court me 18th century style. I responded telling him politely that it was nice to hear from him. He then sent me an email every couple of days. I do not enjoy being spammed, and he was fast loosing his shine. Following two weeks of one sided correspondence I was over him, but he quickly proved he wasn't over me.

So back to the phone call I received tonight. I confirmed to him that he was indeed speaking to M******** , and as i listened to him talk excitedly i wondered how the hell he got hold of my number. Noticing my silence he asked me whether i was wondering how he got my number? I said "yes" and his reponse was "i googled you". Damn that google, how did google get my very private number?

To cut a long story short, I let him talk for 5 mins before ending the call with promises of "yes we will talk again soon". I was scared of this match.com guy. He had the nerve to email me more times then my own mother calls me, he googled me so he can obtain a photo of me so as to "look at it all the time"- his words not mine, and then he had the nerve to call me on a number i never gave him!!!! This man scares me, and i blame match.com. I am now going back to the old fashioned way of meeting guys, in a sweaty nightclub where the beer googles turns all males in a 10 metre radius into beautiful Josh Harnetts and handsome Reggie Bushes.

-LSGS

In the words of Mr.T "I pity the fool!"

2010-05-16T14:08:00.004+01:00

Yesterday whilst having a moan to my friend about the rather clingy men in my life at the moment, I remember how she laughed as she asked me with astonishment 'i dont know what you do to these men'. As I smiled to myself I innocently responded 'i do nothing'.

The thing is I seriously do nothing except maybe refuse to give them my heart, which is currently under lock and key indefinetely. It is no secret that I am yet to meet a man who can bypass not only my blase attittude, but the thorned bushes, and the crocodile filled moat currently surrounding my soft heart- and in the words of Mr.T " I pity the fool" who would try too.

My attitude is bourne of the fact that I do not allow myself to care enough when it comes to whether a guy calls me again after a date. As long as we have a good time together, I expect nothing afterwards. I think it is because I never have any expectations, nor do I ask the kind of questions that guys usually find intrusive but expect girls to ask. This has led to the guys in my life trying to figure me out. One had the audacity to refer to me as 'cold', moi?

When out with guys I choose to watch their body language it certainly tells me a heck lot more than the words that leave their lips.

Finally, I know that my rather 'whatever' attitude with guys could be one of the reasons why I am still venturing all disorientated in Singles Land. In my sometimes warped mind of dating according to moi, I look at it this way, why would I give a guy the kind of power that he could potentially use to crush me with? Why in the world would I give him the kind of control over my heart which will allow him to control my emotions and turn me into a quibling mess? I am yet to meet a man who is worth the potential heartache and who makes me want to risk my sanity for him! Reggie Bush where are you???lol

So on a serious note, and in answering my friend's question, I am no puppet master and I honestly do nothing to these men. They choose to indulge in the impossible quest of trying to chase and catch my heart finding themselves between a rock and a hard place. They have a better chance of finding a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow then holding my very fragile heart in the palm of their hands. Bring on any man who thinks he can, I will graciously accept the challenge.

LSGS

Good kisses win you brownie points

2010-05-09T22:04:00.004+01:00

I wish I could make a large sign to tie around my neck that says
"good kisses win you brownie points".

Worry not, there is a reason to my madness. The last guy (mister bad boy aka the puerto rican) I was seeing (although I must admit that I still occasionally see him whenever the mood strikes me) always kissed me in a way that involved a lot of dribble and tongue grabbing.

He kissed like a Dyson hoover that would not quit. It was awful, and I would never wish it upon anyone, even my worst enemy.

Ok this is how the kissing happens. He would start of slow (I do love a slow and tender start) for about 10 seconds. Then just as I am starting to enjoy kissing him, he grabs my tongue with his and pulls it into his mouth where he holds it hostage.

As I try to break free he holds the back of my head so I can barely move as he sucks the life out of my tongue. I feel like he is literally giving me oral, but that he forgot what lips he was satisfying. Okay that was a bit vulgar, but it had to be said- now I am sure you get where I am coming from.

When I finally broke free from the oral Shawshank, I was panting and exhausted and all he could do was lick his lips, smile and say "now wasn't that worth the wait". As the feeling returned to my tongue I gave him the "you got to be kidding" look which he stupidly mistook for agreeing that yes it was good.

So why do I still "occassionally" still see him, well I am a half glass full type girl and I am hoping that he will get better. Ok thats like a tad exaggeration- I am just bididng my time and waiting for something better to come along. I mean he is a bad kisser but I am debating whether it is better to be kissed even if it is bad, or to never be kissed at all. Well heres hoping that a good kisser will come along soon, as my tongue can only take so much and anywho I want to start handing out some brownie points!!!

LSGS

Its a BOY!!!

2010-05-06T23:18:00.002+01:00

I am happy to announce that a good friend of mine (and her lovely man) have had a baby boy this late evening on Thursday 6th May 2010.

I am now an aunt, a 1000 times removed of cause, but I still look forward to spoiling their bundle of joy all the same.

Congratulations my dear friend, and allow me to add that i will happily babysit for you for free, well maybe for a venti extra hot, wet hazel nut latte!

LSGS

Going forward...

2010-05-05T18:19:00.004+01:00

Turning 31 has bought about a reflective mood. I have made birthday resolutions- similar to new years resolutions but made on your birthday.

(1) to take myself out once a week, whether it be to dinner or for a drink. Think dinner at Nobu or drinks at the Hilton hotel's 28th floor.

(2) to put in place monthly rituals with each of my close friends and sister, whether it be brunch every last sunday of the month, a shopping trip, cinema or dinner at mine.

(3) to have one nice holiday a year. Somewhere where there is a beach and mojitos.

(4) to travel to a different city every 2months for the weekend. Think rome, istanbul, madrid.

(5) to live for the moment and stop analysing everything. I must remember that everyones 5 year plan is adjustable.

(6) appreciate my parents even more!!!

(7) finally work towards getting that hot body, so i can fit into my size 10 (i am a size 12UK/ 8 US) Jasmine Di Milo gown because i hear wedding bells could be in the not so distant future of some friends.

(8) Find a man worthy of me, and who i can marry and make beautiful babies with.

(9) hope to continue to look at my recent tattoo lovingly as i currently do, as me and this baby are together for life!

(10) start to plan my next birthday party (which along with my JLR friend whose b.day is 2 days after mine) because its going to be in Miami baby!

LSGS

Thoughts from a 30 something birthday girl

2010-04-25T18:42:00.003+01:00

My mother always says to me 'no one owes you living, if you want something you have to go get it yourself'. Whether that be a man, a job or a good bunch of friends, it is up to you to make it work'.

So as i lie in bed recovering from my birthday celebrations of the night before I am pondering, as one does, that at 31 have I made things that i want to happen really happen?

During my birthday celebrations this year, i surrounded myself with those who truely care for me. Granted that the numbers of those invited to attend have lessened over the years- at my 26th birthday i had a gathering of over 20 people-, I am confident that as my early 30's tick tock on that those I have chosen as friends are truely those who will have a positive influence in my life.

They are: my giggling partner from JLR whose big heart knows no bounds, Miss kiki from atlanta who supports my quest to find a good man and who i can dissect my love life with for hours at 4am, my inspirational friend who is all the way in australia whose words of 'keep people who build you close to you' has made me open my eyes, my sweet friend and mother to be whose positive thinking drives me on, the lovely Miss Ahnna you made me open my eyes to possibilities and last but not least my dear sister, who is like a truth board and is not afraid to tell me as it is.

Four months into 2010 I am making my own way through life with as fewer regrets as possible, friends and family that i love and a hope that one day my Reggie Bush look-a-like will come along and sweep me off my feet-sigh- if a girl cant wish this on her birthday then when can she.

LSGS

Remembering Tuesday 6th April 2010 at 5:02am

2010-04-11T18:59:00.004+01:00

The date and time- Tuesday 6th April 2010 at 5:02am will forever be engraved on my mind for 2 main reasons- the first I am not quite ready to share yet (only those closest to me know) and the second reason is that I realised that I had started something with Mister Bad Boy that I was not quite willing to see until the end.

The realisation came about at an early hour as I lay next to a snoring Mister Bad boy. It was then I knew that the end was nigh.

I had come to his house that evening with the promise of a home cooked meal and great conversation, but little did I know that it would be the last time that I would ever want to see Mister Bad Boy again.

The dinner was lovely, the conversation flowed until we both fell asleep on his sofa. A few hours later my sleep was suddenly broken by an outside noise and I woke up. I looked over at him asleep beside me and realised then and there that it will never work. It dawned on me that I had done something that I swore I would never do, which is see someone who is wrong for you just so you can say "I've got someone".

He was not my type or someone I could see myself marrying and bearing his children. Somehow the x factor was missing, I am sure you know what I mean. I want a man whose kisses leave me wanting more, a man who adores me and all that I am, a man who makes the whole world disappear when I am in his presence and to be honest a man with pecs and abs to die for- I am after all a red hot blooded woman.

The question is where do I find such a man? Because I now know that he is certainly not the man who was lying beside me blissfully unaware that our 'thing'- if you could call it that- is over.

LSGS

The mystery that is Surviving a Heartbreak

2010-04-02T15:15:00.003+01:00

I am one of those rare people who is yet to suffer a heartbreak. At 30, I am like a child who is happily playing with fire but is yet to be burnt. I am so scared at the idea of someone breaking my heart because I know that I will be an emotional wreck that my friends (and sister) would have to pick off the floor.

No man has had the pleasure of my heart. It is well guarded. With a spiky fence, bulldogs, snipers and a moat full of man eating crocodiles. The idea that some guy can come along and by pass all the security just scares the hell out of me.

Maybe my fear is based on the fact that I have witnessed my close friends going through broken hearts and tears. I have been there with a box of kleenex, bottle of vino, a tub of haagen daz, a Beyonce CD and lots of hugs. I made it my mission to see them through it but always thought "Hell no would I ever put myself through what they are going through!!!". I mean how do they survive it? or is that one of lifes little mysteries.

The thing is I am not the kind of person who shows off their weakness- stiff up lip and what not. I am very independent and do not like the idea of someone being able to break me. They say "better to have loved, than not to have loved at all"- I fiercely disagree.

Now I am seeing this guy, who is very sexy and open. He has showed me what it is to be able to share. I remember one night this week we where sharing a dessert and he turned to me and asked me "why are you so cold?"to which I responded, "I am British- you know we lack emotions and what not". Then we shared a smile.

So what now? Do I dare open my heart a little bit, confident that my friends will be there to catch me when I fall or should I put on a smile and act my heart out so he believes that my heart is opened even if the "no vacany" sign is still firmly in place?

-LSGS

You had me at the 14th hour

2010-03-31T00:26:00.003+01:00

It all started with the 14 hour date, his name I won't divulge quite yet but lets call him Mr Bad Boy.I had my first date with Mr Bad Boy last Tuesday.

He bossed me into meeting up with him because he had too. I was so sure that he was sooooo not my type.

I met up with him at 6.30pm with the intention of seeing him for 2 hours tops and getting home in time for Vampire Diaries on ITV2 at 9pm. But that was not how it happened.

We met up on Upper Street in Angel and headed into the nearest pub. Once we had our chosen tipple in front of us the talking begun. It has been such a long time since I felt so comfortable with a man and with Mr Bad Boy I felt at ease. We talked about everything including our love for NY. He is a New Yorker born and bred and NY is my adoptive City and it was with this bond with the city that never sleeps that had us laughing and reminiscing.

So before long, with the Vampire Diaries long forgotten, he offered to buy me dinner. Looking at my watch I realised it was nearing 11pm. Leaving the pub he asked me to come back to his for food and a dvd. Usually I would hesistate but I felt super comfortable, and the next thing I know we where at his place eating yummy food and polishing off a bottle of Pinot Grigio.

By the time we had settled in front of the tv to watch a dvd- that he allowed me to pick- we where cuddling, sharing stolen kisses and talking, then i fell asleep- mouth opened and snoring according to him!

I woke up having slept in my very uncomfortable but sexy skinny jeans and my strangling black polo neck top. It was 7am and I was in shock and wondering 'where the hell am I?- which I said out loud'. His response- 'come back to bed baby!' . So I laid back down and he cuddled into me and went back to sleep. I lay there for 30mins with my mind rushing and nearing a panic attack. Suddenly jumping out of bed, I shouted my goodbyes as I grabbed my coat and shoes and ran out of the apartment.

I got home an hour later at 8.30am, having done the walk of shame among the 9 to5 people going to work. I could not believe I finally met a guy who could make loose my sensibilities. So if you are wondering what happened next, well the weekend just gone, Sunday to be exact he came round to mine for dinner. Whilst eating the roast that I cooked for him martha-stewart-style his response was 'mmmmm this is really good, so good that I want to marry you right now and make you my wife'. With this comment I wondered whether Mr Bad Boy will mark the end of my single girl woes? Well who knows, continue to watch this space.

LSGS

Single Girl seeking God Fearing man?

2010-03-18T01:11:00.003Z

During a deep conversation with my father, we talked about why I am still yet to find a suitable man to marry.

He seems to not to understand that dating in the 21st century is not the same as when he grew up. Things have changed, and not for the better. My dear father grew up with my mother who was friends with his younger sister. He knew my darling mother since they where very young so I guess that they where destined to be together, marry, and have 4 adorable children!!!

Anywho, after explaining to my father, in different ways might I add, that the only men who seem available to me are the type to frequent the Jeremy Kyle Show (UK version of Maury) I heard him sigh. It was this sigh that led to me becoming suddenly tearful over the phone as the parental pressure and slight guilt for not being married and providing my parents with grandchildren threatened to overcome me. Thats when my father decides to tells me that I should go to Church. I am silent. That I should look for a God fearing man. What? I am still silent. He continues, he will respect you, not drink, not smoke and he will know how to treat you.

Noticing my silence, my father asks what i think. I am speechless. I have never wanted to date a religious man, although i am a catholic and believe in God. They just seem, well boring. So I tell my dad that there is one problem with that, I do not go to church, to which he tells that there is a church in London that he knows boasts many single eligible men. I then pretend to have a pen in hand so my father thinks that I am taking down the churches name.

Putting the phone down I feel emotionally drained as I decide that I would rather be single then get myself a God fearing man, the thought alone puts the fear of God in me.

-LSGS

OMG my singles island for 30 somethings is shrinking!!!

2010-03-10T03:02:00.009Z

I am happy to announce that a good friend of mine is pregnant and is to have a baby boy at the beginning of the summer.

Having recently found out, to say I was shocked is an understatement. I poked her belly a few times before actually believing that my sweet friend was to be a mother. I was happy and sad at the same time. Why sad you might ask, well first let me add that it wasn't because I want a rugrat of my own oh know, I had other valid reasons to my slight sadness to the joyful news.

I have always taken comfort in the fact that although I have turned 30, my dear friends who also shared my age where as single and fancy free as myself. As selfish as this is going to sound, I felt less pressure. I looked at this way, if they can be single and fabulous exclamation mark (yes i stole that line from SATC) then I should also rejoice at also being 30 and single.

Now it seems that my my comfort was short lived as all my 30 someting buddies are leaving the single and fabulous island quicker than a drunk model downs a bottle of Moet at a fashion party. It has left me wondering whether my father is right when he states in a I-speak-the-truth-voice that no man wants a 30 year old when they can get a 22 year old!!! Harsh words from a father who seems to have a few more wrinkles as a result of worrying over why his daughter remains unmarried!!!

Last words- Mazel tov my good friend, you are going to be a wonderful mother as much as I will enjoy spoiling your baby with some cute Ralph Lauren garms.

LSGS

The one that got away?

2010-02-25T23:48:00.003Z

The other night I was having a late night gab with my friend who lives across the pond. We touched on our usual subjects- men, shoes,men and men again. Whilst discussing my latest dating trials and tribulations I mentioned that I got 3 Valentines cards this year (4 if you include the sympathy one my sweet sister sent me)- an absolute record not witnessed since my early 20's. One of the cards was from a guy who I have known for about 6 years. He has crushed on me for 6 years and 4 years ago he proposed and i said..... well let me start from the beginning.

I met, lets call him "good on paper guy", in London. He was an American lawyer whose company had transferred him to London for work purposes. His job required him to be in this rainy city for 6 months. When I first agreed to go out with him I had only seen his photograph. I knew that he was 5ft1 but I had no idea that a 5ft1 for man would literally qualify as midget status- in my book anyway.

We met for drinks in Kensington High Street. I spotted him from a distance, a small figure of a man, and as i walked closer instead of him getting bigger the figure just looked smaller. As I finally stood in front of him, I smiled and I bent right down to air kiss his cheek- not great for my old woman knees.

Arriving at the restaurant we grabbed a table, ordered some mojitos and the akwardiness melted away. We laughed and ordered more rounds of mojitos. I was loving this guy. I thought he was super funny. He is a lawyer ( my dad would love that), he is cute (my mother would find him adorable), he loves sports (a great plus to win over my brothers) and he was a home owner ( my sister- the sensible one- would see that as a definete plus).

After that first date I knew he was good on paper guy- perfect but still for some reason not quite right. I must admit I led him along until he returned to NY. Following his departure from dreary London, our friendship continued and to this day everytime I am in NY he treats me to a great dinner, brunch etc.

The day that I knew he wanted to marry me, was on one of my many trips to NY. I met him for brunch feeling the worse for wear having been out the night before and surviving on only 5 hours sleep. I welcomed a cup of coffee and greasy breakfast. As he talked i listened and ohhhhed and ahhhhed at the right places. Then he bought up his girlfriend. "Juicy" I thought "tell me more". He told me how he felt she was not the one, that he likes someone else, that he is sick of dating and wants to settle down and marry.

With my fork full of sausage and egg I stopped midway enroute to my mouth as it dawned on me that as he spoke he was looking at me in a funny way. Putting the fork down I realised that "the other girl" was me, and it was me he was referring too. He continued his rant, asking me when I am going to settle down and stop partying. I let him go on for about 10 minutes before I realised he had asked me "the question" and me being me I played deaf and asked the passing waiter for the check. He bought it over in 30 seconds flat, "good on paper" guy paid and we quickly exited the restaurant.

As we walked down park avenue i rambled on about nothing in particular and then before i knew it I was bidding him good bye and running into the nearest Starbucks seeking refuge in a tall extra hot wet hazelnut latte. As I sipped I thought to myself "did that really happen?" and "did I really just ignore him?".

Fast forward to 4 years later, I finished telling the story to my friend. Talking in her I-am-about-to-part-with-some-wise-words-voice she concluded that i obviously dont want to get married because Lord knows that if I truely wanted to get hitched 5ft1 or not I would be married, driving a range rover and living in a big house with (most likely) my vertically challenged 2.4 kids.

The one that got away? I think not!

LSGS

Loosing my dating inhabitions in 2010- part 1

2010-01-30T17:01:00.005Z

My first two dates of 2010 have now come and gone. When they where first pencilled in, I was happy, actually I was ecstatic that I was finally able to say to my friends (and my sister) that one of them could at last be the one, he could be Mister Right-Now, but alas no I had counted my chicks before they could hatch.

Lets begin with date number 1. It all started last week Thursday. I had pencilled in a coffee date with a cutie that had the look of Lenny Kravitz. I was super happy and couldn’t wait to get my hands on the dream boat who I shall refer to as Scrumptious Lenny

When D-day arrived I wore all black, channelling an avant garde look. Adorning my highest heels I turned up at our meeting place- Costas Coffee house on Bakers street. I decided to arrive early. We were supposed to meet at 2pm; I was there at 1.50pm. I was nervous and jittery. I bought my hazelnut latte and found a great spot to sit- a leather sofa for comfort and a gorgeous coffee table to hide my big bag that I had lugged along.

As I waited I called a good friend of mine for emotional support. As we gossiped and giggled on the phone I did not notice that the minutes where ticking by and soon enough it was 2.15pm- where was he? I started to panic, have I been stood up? I have never been stood up. It felt awful. I told my friend and she said that maybe he came, saw me and left. I felt like my heart had been torn. Surely Scrumptious Lenny would not do such a thing. Feeling distressed I ended the call with my friend and continued to sip my latte.

As the minutes ticked by my watch soon enough struck 2.30pm and I knew then that I had been a fool. I was well and truly stood up. With a heavy heart i grabbed my coffee and oversized bag and left Costa. With every step I took, as I walked to the bus stop, the angrier I felt, so I decided to write him a quick text message letting him know that being a no show was just mean.
By the time I reached home I still had not heard from him. I couldn’t stop repeating the words “I can’t believe I have been stood up” to myself continuously. Two hours past and I decided to go carpet shopping- I am refurnishing my petite maison.

In the carpet shop I was enjoying selecting colours when my mobile rang. The world stopped as I saw his name flash across the screen- it Scrumptious Lenny.

Before I could say “hello” I was assaulted by a million apologies. He told me left his mobile at home and decided not to go back for it as he was already running late so by the time he arrived at Costa it was after 2.30pm and I had already left. He therefore had to come back home for his phone so he could call me.

It sounded like a reasonable excuse; Lord knows I have left my phone at home a million times. So I happily accepted his apology and we spoke for a while and for me my world was suddenly right again- sigh!!!

Once I returned home I thought to myself should I give Scrumptious Lenny another chance? Maybe, I mean how many scrumptious Lenny types are there left in London- like maybe one. So I ask you, what do you think?

LSGS

OMG is it 2010 already? So why am I still single???

2010-01-13T05:20:00.006Z

Happy New Year!!! It is now 2010, it has been nearly a month since my last diary entry, I am still single, I am 4 months from turning 31 and as for my weight- well never you mind.

So what have I done to improve my life since the 1st day of 2010? Well on the subject of weight, I bought a Jasmine Di Milo gown worth a ridiculous amount of money in a size smaller than what I am so as to finally encourage me to lose weight. Will that work? I really hope so because I have hung the floor length gorgeous Oscar worthy dress in my apartment where I see it constantly- I hope this will encouraging me to hit the gym at some point- mmmmmm.

Other madness that has taken place is that I have decided to get a tattoo as soon as I figure out what I want. I have also decided to travel the world in 2011- Cuba, Brazil and Japan are high on my list.

Lastly, I have been mulling over my sexy/ugly crushes of late. I have realised I can fancy the pants off a sexy/ugly guy as long as he is safely tucked away in my flat screen TV. Because in reality a sexy/ugly guy could never crack my “I am not interested” exterior, no matter how big his axe is.

I guess it is because I take comfort in that I will never actually meet ugly/sexy man on TV and therefore I will not curse my future children with his ugly side although might be sexy to me, I am sure that his ugly manly features would not look so cute on my future baby daughter, nor baby son come to think of it!

Any who, here’s a peak into my sexy ugly file, these are some of the men who have tooted my horn- beer goggles or not they are just hot so dont laugh, be kind:

I dont know why i fancy him, i just do- unexplainable.

Hairy like a monkeys back but his badness as Sylar in Heroes is just sexy to me- i do like a bit of bad.

He is just super sexy in Memoirs of a Geisha and The Last Samarai- very noble and cute.

Its his voice- trust me. Ignore the looks and hear the voice. You can listen to it if you watch Cold Case- its raspy and quite sexy.

It's Uncle Phil i know, and he is another one i cant explain it.

Well he is Bond, enough said!

Happy new Year again, and lets make 2010 the year that The Last Single Girl Standing gets to meet her Mr Darcy.

Love,

LSGS

I will have me some Chuck Bass please.

2009-12-08T00:55:00.000Z

First allow me to admit that I am complete Gossip Girl fan. I mean who isn’t right??? This fabulous show introduced me to my crush for past 18 months, the arrogant big headed character Mr Chuck Bass.

Chuck Bass is the kind of guy us girls refer to as “a bastard”. Why you might ask? Well firstly he is so arrogant that the essence of it would just drive you nuts, so sure of himself that you would love to break him down just so you can wipe the confident smirk of his face, so cocky that you wonder why; you know the type I mean. Any who I am sucker for him. He is everything us women are not supposed to like in future husbands/boyfriends/lovers. He is the bad boy our mama’s warned us about, but for me his entire way of being is such a turn on!

When it comes to Mr Chuck Bass, I love his attitude rather than his looks. I love the fact that he is fearless, he is the kind of man who will stand by you no matter what, he is the kind of man that when he truly loves you he does so with his entire heart and soul, and he is the kind of man who would destroy anyone who dares make you upset- sigh.

I love a man who I feel safe with, a man who is a man’s man and I am his woman. I have never been a fan of a man who is all about being metro sexual and enjoying apple martinis with me. I want a Chuck Bass, who is not afraid of being with a strong woman who knows her mind, because I love a man who is brave enough to enter it, my mind that is!!!

LSGS

I have kissed enough frogs, now where is my Prince?

2009-11-29T20:35:00.004Z

The end of my frantic dating has come to an end and it is unfortunately not because I found someone.

I have been continuously dating for 3 months. I have dated out of my usual boundaries- something rather new and scary for me. I have been out with men who are usually below my radar and I have come to realise something, the heart wants what it wants, and what mine wants is a 6ft2 tall, athletic/rugby player built manly man with a laidback attitude and a cheeky smile- does anyone know of such a catch?

Any who if you are wondering what happened to all those men some AKA as frogs, I was dating well let me enlighten you;

*Swedish guy, as hot as he was he was a non starter. A bit of a teaser. You know the type; give you all kinds of hope only to never deliver. I only stuck for it as long as I did (2 weeks) because he resembled my crush Freddie Lljungberg.

*French Guy was waaayyy to intense for my liking. He also struck me as the jealous type-ewwww! So we had one date and I never returned for more. Last I heard he is back with his ex girlfriend, I wonder if she resembles Serena Williams.

*Young Man, a sweet 23 year old who made for good boyfriend material if he had been 10 years older and not straight out of University. We clicked, we kissed we dated if only for a brief while!

*Atlanta boy was a non starter from the beginning. Cursed with the wandering the eye, he would happily notice other females while on dates with me. Even when I adorned my lucky mini skirt and killer heels his eyes continued to be distracted- damn him! Besides his chat up lines seem to only tempt the most desperate of hood rats making them total kryptonite to any decent normal girl like moi. So he did not sway me, because I am sure the last time I checked the words hood and rat did not apply to me.

*Rich Guy seems to be a Harry. Not much to look at first, second or third glance, but at fourth glance one will notice the naughtiness in his eyes and the constant cheeky grin. I thought he was a banker, but recently he corrected me, he is actually a lawyer. He is an over confident man’s man- think Wall Street, think Gordon Grekko. Funnily enough I have kept him around, so let’s see if a bird and a fish can make it.

Lastly let’s bow our heads and remember the men who just did not make the cut:

The school teacher- cute but dull, dull, dull oh my and really cheap too.

Church boy- he lost me as soon as the words “I go to church every Sunday would you come with me?" left his mouth. I mean come on, I know that I am raised catholic and what not but church on Sunday? You are more likely to find me having brunch at smiths of Smithfield!

LSGS

Taking a chance on a Mr Big

2009-11-25T22:18:00.003Z

For the last 2 months since I started my dating quest, I have been pursued by a Mr Big type man. He has been insisting for several weeks that he can “rock my world”, and refers to me as “princess”- mmmmm right? Any who I have ignored his advances for dinner at Nobu, including him suggesting the perfect night of wooing me at his riverside apartment, how chessy!
I find men who try to woo you with the size of their wallet terribly vulgar and unnecessary. If my only goal was to find a man with money I would have married many moons ago. I seek someone with substance and intellect too, oh yes I cannot lie a hot body won’t go amiss- yum yum.

All that being said I must be blunt and honest and say that marrying poor is not an option for me either. The only way that would happen is if cupid decides to play a crude joke on me and I end up with a guy who whose lack of ambition keeps his pockets empty- mmmmm a very scary thought indeed!

So will I be taking a chance on Mr Big? I have decided, with the urge from my fantastic friends, that i will be saying yes to his offer of dinner, because when a man on holiday on the other side of the world can find time in his day to send little old me a text message enquiring after my health, then I know I can at least spare an hour or two to meet up with him for drinks at some overpriced bar which I have feeling he would just love- sigh!

LSGS

OMG, the dating world has gone "foot" mad!

2009-11-17T02:56:00.005Z

Ok, when it comes to dating I am a big believer in "each to their own". People are tempted by different things when it comes to attraction. For me it’s a tall black athletic hunk with a deep voice, man smell and tattoos (sigh) - oi you do not judge, the heart wants what it wants, then again I think in my case the body wants what it wants (blush)!

Anywho, I was looking through some dating sites, for research purpose (clear of throat), and I came across a website with the above photo as its main attraction. My first thought was "ewwww how big are that mans feet", quickly followed by "her red toe nails could be used as weapons of mass destruction"

Admitingly, I found the photo slightly disturbing, not because of the obvious reason 2 races (black and white) intertwined, oh no, like I said each to their own, but the photo itself with the two feet does not scream find everlasting love for me, it just screams out ewwww what is that about?

There are many dating sites out there (match.com, e-harmony) who are going to be stiff competition for this website, surely its foot photo is not tempting potential subscribers to come on board? maybe except those with foot fetishes!

So it is on this note that I must ask that you allow me to put £10 down as a bet because I truly believe that this dating site will not be around long- give it a month, because its inevitable end wont be due to the credit crunch oh no, the picture alone has long since sealed its doomed fate.

LSGS

Rejoice...men have truely set us free!!!

2009-11-13T11:16:00.002Z

When it comes to the girly gossiping that one does with close girlfriends, the weekly topic of the Brazilian always comes up. I am not referring to some yummy oiled Brazilian man with a toothy mega white smile, oh no, I am referring to the pruning of one’s lady garden.

Every girl I know needs, as opposed to wants, to get their bushes maintained regularly. Some of my girlfriends swear that it is for “their own satisfaction”, but I have sneaky suspicion that their boyfriends/husbands/lovers are also given a neat garden to play in because we care that they see everything as just so. I am sure if one of my friends was brave enough to present to her beau a 1970’s style bush that they would fear that their lover would run a mile and never return.

After a bit of research consisting of embarrassing questions directed towards some of my male friends I found out that the majority of men do not prefer the plucked chicken look. They understand that it is a look reserved for the females in the adult business and they therefore do not expect their lovers to adhere to the rules bestowed upon porn stars. Also another important fact that they stressed to me was that they will not turn down a bit of slap tickle no matter the state of one’s garden- ewwww guys are sooooo desperate sometimes!

So ladies, the men have indeed set us free, so it is now up to you to accept this and not have to put yourself through a torture that has to be worse than child birth. Why not embrace the style of the 1970’s and see what the freedom will produce. Anyway no one, except those invited to view, can see your lady garden but remember we all can see your armpits, eyebrows and moustache so please do not allow them to grow wild- because that would just be unsightly!

LSGS

Perfecting the art of “we are just having fun right?”

2009-11-12T23:22:00.003Z

An amazing friend of mine, let’s call her Yoda- my pet name for her, has lately been giving me great advice on the soap opera that is my love life. She has been teaching me the art of “we are just having fun right?” It is a talk that sometimes needs to be bestowed upon men to put a stop to any serious relationship talks. In order for me to make sense let me take you back.

As you know, I have been dating Young Man for 2 months now. Our thing, as I like to call it, has reached a cross road therefore raising the unspoken question of where to next. This is a topic I wish not to touch on yet as I do not want to make any brash decisions yet. So Yoda taught me how to have the, "we are just having fun" talk with guys. The art comes from being able to say it without upsetting the unsuspecting guy. The talk should reassure him that you love his company but also let him know that under no circumstances would he be marching you up the aisle anytime soon.

After many talks and lessons from the fabulous Yoda, I now feel that I have perfected this art and that it is now time to carry it out on Young Man. I must say that I feel terribly guilty that I am going to let him know that we will never be serious. Yes a snog here and there is great- he is an amazing kisser- but anything beyond that is a no-no!

If only he was not missing the 2 non-negotiable ingredients that I require in a potential mate then I know deep in my heart (which feels rather shallow at the moment) that we could have been discussing another matter indeed- the colour of my wedding dress Virgin white or classic cream but alas no.

It is on his note that I hope you bid me good luck, because breaking someone’s heart is not a sport that I plan on perfecting. Poor boy, but I am sure at 23 he will recover.

LSGS

PS- By the way let me acknowledge that I know that I did a disappearing act the last few weeks, and did not blog as regulary, sorry folks but I got caught up in the dating game, it wont happen again (blush)!

“Young Man” leaves me breathless!

2009-09-23T20:51:00.001+01:00

He kissed me. Yes that’s right “young man” kissed me. I must admit that I saw it coming. I knew that by the 3rd date he was going to go in for the kill.

On our 2nd date he was doing the lean in 90% of the way, but I refused to go the other 10% and acted like I had not noticed his lean in and kiss technique- as if.

On Sunday we had our third date. We met in a quaint little Spanish cafe in Camden. It was a lovely little hole in the wall with sofas and a DJ playing some soothing music. Sitting on an old tatty brown sofa we exchanged stories over a glass of red for me and a bottle of beer for him.
He is such good company and always makes me laugh. I know he sees me as some ditzy woman with a sarcastic sense of humour but he accepts me. He laughs when I spill my wine by accident (i have done it twice already), or have one of my OMG-where-did-I-put-my-purse attacks. I love that he just lets me be me, and wants to be around me and my craziness.

Back to the date- it was as we sat on this sofa and onto our 3rd round of drinks that I saw a certain look in his eyes- lust! All women are acquainted with the manly lusty look. It could leave one imagining that you are indeed his next meal. It made me nervous. I was 15 again. So I excused myself and went to the ladies.

Whilst in there I told myself “breath in, breath out” and I tried to calm my nerves. I returned back to the sofa and our date with a plastered on smile on my newly glossed lips. We spent a further hour discussing politics, then fashion again (I am trying to explain the industry to him) before ending up on music (he is an aspiring musician- God aren’t they all).

When midnight struck I suggested we leave before we got thrown out as they where closing and we were practically the last ones remaining. As we exited he put his hand on the small of my back and I thought “OMG what is he doing, ahhhhhh”. He felt me stiffen and he removed his hand away from my body and I relaxed- phew! We talked as we made our way to the bus stop and once there he stood close to me and asked me what I was thinking; my response was “when is the bus coming?”, before adding “I know what you are thinking”. Blushing slightly, he smiled and said “what?” to which I answered “whether or not you should kiss me”. He smiled again and nodded his head yes before leaning in 90% and it was at that moment I gave in and leaned in the last 10%- hallelujah we where kissing.

I never thought that moment would come as I am sooooo unsure of where it could possibly go with a guy who is not my usual type in many ways. I feel so blah being out of my comfort zone and around men who I can predict and know their ways. “Young man” is the sweetest guy I have met on my dating quest. He never wants me to forget that I am always on his mind, which makes me feel warm and fuzzy just as his kisses did on that chilly Sunday night.

LSGS

Having a cougar moment and proudly pulling a Demi!

2009-09-18T01:37:00.004+01:00

Samantha with Smith in SATC- the ultimate cougar!

Lately, I have found myself dating a younger guy, among others. His age goes against everything I stand for. I have always stood by my rule of not dating anyone younger than me, whether it is 6 months younger or 5 years younger, it makes no difference. All who know me are shocked that I have been seeing “young man” for the last couple of weeks- but the heart wants what it wants right?

Out of the 5 men that I am dating he has been the one whose company I have enjoyed. He is the perfect gentleman in every way, which has surprised me as he is so young. He refuses to even let me get my wallet out. He puts the rich men I have dated to shame with his generosity. He makes me feel looked after-which gives me a lovely fuzzy feeling- mmmmmmm!!!

Our first date was meeting for drinks at a bar in Camden. I had allocated him an hour and a half to impress me, before I had to leave for my dinner plans at 7pm. Just after 5pm I met my date who was waiting for me outside the bar- how gentlemanly right? He walked me in and straight to the bar where he paid for our drinks. We looked for a place to sit, and I spotted a comfy sofa and which we settled down on.

Our conversations flowed, and flowed, which I loved, and as my glass emptied he stood up and went to the bar and refilled it without asking- amazing manners!!! Before I knew it, it was time for me to leave. I found myself disappointed that I had made other plans. I made my excuses to leave and he responded in insisting that he walk me out. I protested but he left his half drunk beer and said that he would love to walk me out- OMG swoon right?

He walked me to the bus stop and we kissed, on the cheek naturally, it was the first date after all. He followed the date with a text, a couple of hours later, saying that he enjoyed himself. Then 48 hours later he asked me out again, and I declined, I am a Rules girl after all, but instead made arrangements for a movie date in 5 days time.

What I love about “young man” is that he is not afraid to let me know he likes me. He shows this by being a total gentleman and making sure I am taken care off. It has been a long time since I have felt taken care off. The other guys I have dated in the last few weeks have come across as if they were paying because later they expect a return- as if- but with “young man” it feels like it is because it is just what a gentleman does.

Lastly, I know that he is so wrong for me in every way. He is my Harry in many ways, well maybe my Smith due to the age but is it wrong for me to be with someone who clearly adores me? Well I plan to continue to drown in my confusion and see “young man” again. He makes me feel great and he also has lips that beg to be kissed, and it is on this note that I end with a “to be continued....”

LSGS

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher- prove the heart wants what it wants!

Table for one?

2009-09-13T15:18:00.004+01:00

I was having a gossiping session with a good friend of mine, Kiki, at the beginning of this week and it was during this marathon session of gabbing that she bought up to the table the idea of the both of us hitting the town on our own.

She had told me that one of her girlfriends frequently headed out on her own without friends, reading materials or a plan. She just made herself look fabulous puts on her heels and heads out. This fascinated me. I have never headed out on a night out alone. The whole idea of it frightened me. How would I cope without my friends as a crutch?

We discussed this for about an hour before agreeing that we were both going to go out on our own. She lives in the USA, well Atlanta to be exact and I am residing on London (for the moment any who). So the plan was that on Thursday (just gone) we where to beatify ourselves and head out on our own.

To prepare I had a lovely hot bath accompanied by some music and a glass of wine. Then I selected my outfit. Put my make up on and then danced around my apartment to get me in the mood. Once I creamed my body and put on my dress, I put on a dab of my Coco Chanel on my wrist and neck, grabbed my Chanel handbag and headed out.

To say I was nervous is an understatement. I was literally jittery all the way to the tube station. My plan was to head into the city- the land of bankers/lawyer types- and see what happens.
It was a lovely warm evening so I headed to this cute bar in Liverpool Street that has a balcony overlooking the city. I bought myself a mojito, found a seat and sat down. I pretended that I was enjoying the view when I was actually scoping the bar to see what men where drinking there.
After sitting there an hour all I had managed to conjure up where curious glances from the guys and suspicious looks from the females. Deciding to look busy I fiddled with my phone and pretended that I was a super busy person who had been stood up.

As another hour crept by I decided that I am going to head to the west end and that was when the fun started. I went to the Hilton Hotel top floor bar, which has views of glittery London- amazing. It was there I was chatted up by an Arab guy who was staying at the hotel. Grateful for company I enjoyed a couple of glasses of Champagne with him before deciding that it was time for me to move on.

En route to Mahiki I text the door girl to ensure she had me on the guest list. My arrival saw my black cab stop right in front of the venue and as the taxi door was open for me. As I exited, the red velvet rope was opened for me, I air kissed the door girl and entered the venue.
Once settled at the bar I ordered a Long Island ice tea and took it all in. I noticed that the guys in the place where rather young- maximum age 26- but very willing to try and talk to you. I enjoyed their attention and before I knew it, I was downstairs on the dance floor dancing to Black Eyed Peas party song I Got feelin’.

It was 2am when I decided to leave the fun. It was as I stumbled back home feeling slightly tipsy and buzzy that I learnt that going out on your own can be both fun and frightening at the same time. I also learnt that older men have nothing on the young or foreign men who seem to have more balls and the manners to talk a lone lady. Shame on you big boys, with all your “experience” you should know better!

LSGS

Going Cold Turkey

2009-09-07T11:11:00.003+01:00

I mentioned in an earlier post that I had started dating a guy who I have been refering to as the Sexy Swede. Let me jog your memory, he is the very hot Freddie Ljungberg look alike.

Well mon ami, it seems that my titanic of lust has hit an iceberg, and that iceberg is that he is a bit of a horn dog. It is constant and does not stop. Do you remember in SATC when Charlotte tried to seriously date the guy who was only good at going down on women or when Carrie tried to turn her fuck buddy into a potential boyfriend- well we all know how that turned out- utterly unsuccessful and thats what I have realised I have been attempting to do with Sexy Swedish guy- pretty much beating a dead horse!

I have not done anything physical, you will be amazed at the power of human strength to resist such a God of a man, but i know that if we where to start something physical that is all it will ever be. I could not take our relationship seriously and he would not be introduced to my family and friends, who I know are waiting patiently to be introduced to a man who is my match in everyway. Which is a damn shame because it is not like i reside in a city that has wall to wall hot men around every corner. So I have chosen to go cold turkey and release the hot swede back into the general population- enjoy ladies.

So lastly, to take a phrase coined by men worldwide and used quite carelessly by them too, when it comes to my amore- the sexy swede- I am not able to turn a "whore" into a husband or at least serious boyfriends- shame!

LSGS

Ps...

2009-09-06T12:50:00.003+01:00

With regards to my date with Mister Yummy Muscian I am sad to report that I will not be seeing him again, because although he had me at hello, he definitely lost me when the words "you look like Serena Williams" where uttered out of his mouth as he stroked my face. Surely i am prettier, please tell me i am prettier.

LSGS

A small thanks to my friend M and sister who tried to comfort me by saying "at least he didnt say you look like Venus".

Dating my very own "Dolce & Gabbana model"

2009-09-06T10:35:00.005+01:00

"My date Mr Yummy Muscian would not look out of place in a D&G ad"

This weekend began with a date with a rather scrumptious guy. He looked like he had just walked off a Dolce & Gabbana ad- and the fact that he is half scilian and half french added a certain je ne sais quoi to my very goodlooking date.

I decided that the first date should be casual, so we met for a coffee at Cafe Nero. Straight away he got "une pointe" for being quite the gentleman and waiting for my arrival outside the coffee house. Once we air kissed and said our hellos, he opened the door for me and we entered Cafe Nero. After we both ordered our coffees- mine a hazelnut latte and him a strong Americano- we found a cozy sofa and sat down.

From the beginning our conversation flowed with ease. He had a terribly sexy accent, and a great smile. He hypnotised me and I was happy to be in the company of Mr Yummy Muscian- I have decided not to use real names. He was a muscian whose band won best newcomer at Glastonbury 2005. As he talked about his music I started imagining myself finally being able to say "my boyfriend is the lead singer of a band"- it has a fab ring to it right?

After we talked for about 2 hours we left and went in search of food. We found ourselves at the Japanese Centre and looking to buy some yummy sushi. Then it was from there that things started to go down hill.

You see i told him that i would have to leave soon as i had a drinks date with a friend. This confession upset him greatly, and he became kind of cold towards me. When i asked him what was wrong he told me that he had cleared his entire evening for me and that he had expected me to do the same. My immediate thought was "what?", and as he babbled on i realised that he had expected our date to continue way into the wee hours. I had thought a coffee date is about hour maybe 2 hours max, and my Mr Yummy Musician was throwing a 3 year old tantrum right in the middle of the Japanese Centre because I decided to end our date- i knew that it was all too good to be true.

So later on as i strolled to go and meet my friend, I started thinking that maybe I should not have made plans that would stunt the date. I did reason that if i really wanted the date to continue i could have rearranged my plans with my friend, but i did not so maybe I had just self sabotaged my date, or maybe he needs to learn what the term "a quick coffee date" means!

LSGS

Opening my L.O.V.E borders

2009-09-04T10:55:00.006+01:00

MY USUAL TYPE- THE YUMMY REGGIE BUSH

Lately, with the help of my sister, I have decided to take the matters of dating into my own hands. I went ahead and joined the modern world of dating and put an ad about moi on an online dating page to see whether it would catch any yummy fishes.

Twenty four hours later I had received 100 responses to my ad. To say I was shocked is an understatement. I mean, i know that I am no ug (the short term for ugly) but come on now- are there that many single men roaming around freely unattached? So i read all their emails. It took me 3 hours but I was determined to read each one and respond to those i found interesting.

Some of the responses where scary- some men declared their love for me (yeah right mister), others had the audacity to send photos of their little friend (i mean ewwww right) and others decided to write back with insults for no reason but because they can (the lunacy of it all). But that was just 10% of the emails i received.

The other 90% were from sweet men who where truely seeking the one. By day three my ad had been viewed 2,500 times and i had over 200 emails sent to me. I decided enough was enough, and removed my ad.

So a week has passed and I have selected 6 guys to go out on dates with. I decided that I would not discriminate too much. Anyone who knows me knows that I have only dated the 6ft something, broad shouldered manly black guys, think of american football player Reggie Bush- a very yummy man indeed and sooooo my type [shivers].

Now following pressure from some friends who think my I-only-date-black-guys limits me from meeting potentials has meant that I have decided to open my dating boarders ( for now anyway). So the selected 6 guys include a hot Swedish guy who looks like a young Freddie Ljungberg. All women can agree that Freddie is heart stopping gorgeus- see below.

So it is on this note that I must introduce to you the guy who will be my first date- and who I will call the Sexy Swedish guy(i decided to not use their real names), who is one of my six-

so watch this space!

THE SEXY FREDDIE LJUNGBERG

LSGS

Seeking the elusive Festival Man

2009-09-03T23:20:00.003+01:00

A week or so ago a friend of mine gave me free VIP passes to the V Festival, so I decided to trek all the way to Chelmsford with MY sister in tow to go and enjoy the delights on offer.

On arrival we adorned our huge nicole ritchie type sunglasses so as to ensure we enjoyed the VIP treatment in style. I must admit, that i loved that we where separated from the "normal" people and led down the VIP route. We felt more special than the non-VIP people who where being herded like cows- ewwww- all that was missing was the electric prod!

Having been to Glastonbury last year, I found the V Festival to be tame and full of young boys- what a shame. I had been looking forward to indulging myself with some moody band leader and drinking beer from the bottle, but instead I found myself refusing to leave the luxury of the VIP and enjoying sitting under a tree sipping pimms.

I cant stress it enough- but the V Festival was unfortunately lacking in cute men-damn it- but with my sister in tow and having drunk enough pimms to sink a ship, by 8pm I found myself dancing to Abba (in the VIP disco), ignoring the attention of the young men whose balls are yet to drop (please excuse the crudeness) and wondering why i was the only one who was rejoicing that Oasis had cancelled their performance last minute- long live Snowpatrol i say- hiccup!

LSGS

M.I.A in the world of dating

2009-08-17T13:21:00.006+01:00

I have been M.I.A of late, because I have been putting myself out there. So I am back, and I must say that I am far from amused with what I have been putting myself through just to get a date. What am I mumbling about? well I went on a date last week and for some mad reason I decided to go to his neck of the woods.

So looking fabulous and dressed to the hilt, I strutted to the tube station in my highest of heels feeling great. The area that I was headed to on a balmy Friday evening was some small town in East London. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a zone 1 and sometime 2 only girl, I rarely venture beyond zone 2 unless I am en route to my parents in Herts. So going to zone 5, was me putting myself out there.

Once I arrived, I was far from impressed. I stood outside the rather depressing looking tube station wondering where the black cabs were. I also noticed that there was not a Starbucks or a Carluccio’s in sight, which gave me an “I am not going to mesh with this area” vibe.

So as I stood there, looking way out of place, I took out my travelling companion, my A-Z so i can look up the address of where we were meeting. I found it on map and that’s when the trek to find this elusive place began. Walking on my heels I went past council estates that where located near big car factories, I ended up walking through fields wondering why my beloved A-Z was letting me down.

Forty-five minutes later I was lost, sweaty and my feet where begging to be released from their leather prison. As an hour came and went I knew then that I was truly lost. So giving up and sitting down at a lone bus stop, I suddenly saw a man walking his dog coming towards me, panting and exhausted I asked my Samaritan whether he could point me in the direction of zone 1. Smiling at me he pointed at the bus 25 that was trudging down the road towards the bus stop. With a childish excitement I happily waved it down. Getting on, I thanked my Samaritan, nearly kissed the bus driver (I said nearly) and sat down. Nearly an hour later the bus reached the west end, and I have never been happier to see the dirty streets of the Oxford Circus. Getting off the 25 I was headed home ( and without the help of my useless A-Z).

So what happened to my date? Well I told him about my awful troubles and dramatics of trying to get to our meeting place and all he said was “what about you come down on Saturday and I will pick you up from the tube station”, and my response was “not on your life buddy”.

LSGS

Princess on a budget seeks her Prince Charming

2009-08-09T17:55:00.003+01:00

Ahhhhh I was thinking today that life sure has changed and how much i grew in my 20's. Gone are the days when I used to call my dad up and say "Daddy I need money", or "Daddy did you get the bills I posted to you to be paid". I know, I know I sound like I was spoilt (note I am talking in past tense), but you know what I look at it this way, I was my dad’s little princess and he liked to tell me that whatever his precious daughter wants she gets!

Ok I am sounding like I was one of those spoilt brats on "Sweet Sixteen" programme on MTV, but do you know what I admit that I was slightly princess like throughout my early 20's. My father paid my rent and bills, my mum popped into London to pick up my washing and then drive back to London to drop it off.... okay I can so hear your tutting and I know you are shaking your head in disgust and thinking what a spoilt cow, what the hell is she whining about. Well there is a point to this blog entry and here it comes...

I remember when I left my job as Editor Assistant, a job I got straight out of University, after lasting 2 months. I hated it, so when I left to my mum and dad’s disappointment they told me that if I leave I would have to learn to financially support myself. With my stubborn streak in full force I took them on the challenge and told them I can support myself, after all I was 24, and it was then that my life lessons began!

I started to learn to look at prices when food shopping, I found out where my local launderette was, and the word budget came into this ex-princess vocabulary! Admittingly I found it hard, but I must say after the nights spent eating at home rather than going out, taking the bus instead of cabs, was worth the penny pinching because it made it easier to accept and accommodate the one thing in my budget strict life that could not be changed and that was my love for clothes, shoes and luxury food shopping! I found it hard to utter the word "budget" when it came to shopping for shoes but I did learn the words "window shopping"!

Okay have I made my point, probably not! But do you know something I am happy my parents took the harder road and enforced some independence on me back in my mid 20's because I came to enjoy living the life of a princess on a budget that was set on my terms (instead of my parents who then held the purse strings). I guess my mother was always right, money doesn't grow on trees- and what a way to learn that fact!

LSGS

Chivalry is far from dead

2009-08-08T00:06:00.006+01:00

I must say that I am notorious, among my friends, for using my womanly wiles to get what I want from men. For example, the other day I was walking down the street carrying way too many things that I ended up dropping my purse. As I attempted to pick it, I was beaten to it by a cute guy who had, noticing my distress, run up to me and picked it up for me. I must admit I did wait a second longer than I should to see if any gentleman would assist me, and boy was I lucky that it was not a thief who had decided to be so gracious or else I would have felt such a fool.

Another incident occurred when I was in NY. I was walking around on a rather snowy December day, and anyone who knows NY winters knows that they can be harsh. So there I was shopping with my sister in -3 degree weather, I know it was mad to be out on such a day but allow me to add in my defence that just because it is ridiculously cold does not mean I can’t shoe shop. Any who, to continue, I was walking with my sister down 5th when upon seeing the number 5 bus she decided that we should hop on it instead of walking around the slush.

So she waved down the bus, and as our luck would have it, it stopped right in front of a big puddle of brown slush. Fearing my shoes I stood their frozen (and not from the cold) as my sister jumped the puddle and boarded the waiting bus. Trying to decide whether or not to risk my suede boots I was surprised when a hand appeared in front of me. I looked up and lo and behold a man who had been next in queue was kindly offering his hand to help me cross the brown puddle of slush. Feeling like I was in the movie Gone with the Wind, I kindly accepted (whilst trying not call him Rhett Butler). I thanked him with a shy smile as I hopped over the puddle and onto the bus.

Once I was on the nice warm bus I realised that the entire bus and my un-amused sister had been watching me whilst I had stood their (for Lord knows how long) contemplating my dilemma before watching the man offering and then assisting me over the puddle. It was then I realised that not many where impressed- especially the women- about how I had acted.

I do not apologise for allowing gentlemen to assist me when needed. Let the feminists roll in their graves if they must, but if a man offers me his seat I will take it, if a man hands me his handkerchief I will accept it, if a man wants to buy me drink/dinner I will kindly thank him and if a man wants to help me jump over a puddle 18 century style then damn it I am going to take his hand and jump, because romance might be dead but I refuse to accept that chivalry is.

LSGS

Being "Mrs Rocker" has a nice ring to it!

2009-08-06T03:32:00.003+01:00

Over a year ago I was introduced to the Kings of Leon and there began my love affair with indie/rock type bands. I have always enjoyed that type of music – due to my sisters’ influence- but I had never really been ‘into to it’. Now I find myself loving the music and more importantly crushing on the sweaty, tattooed, lead singers like Caleb Followill of tKOL

Although I love these tortured souls for their sexy broody ways, I know that they are not the marrying type. I could never bring a sultry, Marlboro lights smoking sexy band singer to my parents home and say "Daddy, mummy, this is my new boyfriend". They would be far from amused and more likely be worried whether their neighbors saw such an undesirable, by their standards, entering their home.

Saying that, I refuse to be deterred. I have already started stocking up on my black eyeliner, laddered tights, and black sexy outfits. My next stop is the marsh pit of rocking gigs where I plan to fight those screaming 20 something’s and teenage groupies just so I can utter the words;

"I am with the band".

LSGS

Single and fabulous seeks partner in crime

2009-08-05T00:51:00.002+01:00

I realised something of late, that for me to be able to find Mister Right, or even mister right now I need a partner crime. All my dear friends are either in a relationship or always too busy to go out Sex and the City style-and if I continue to wait for a partner in crime to come along I know that a girl can become an old maid before her time- and that cannot happen to me.

I have contemplated heading out on my own, but I decided that I will probably reek of desperation or I could even, God forbid, be mistaken for a lady of the night.

So I am putting an ad out there into the universe, “Single and fabulous seeks partner in crime” a fantastic fashionista like moi. This individual will be my “wing man” (think Top Gun- Tom Cruise’s character Maverick had wing man Goose- love that movie) who I can go to parties, clubs and even pubs damn it on a regular basis. I miss having a partner in crime, especially since parting ways with an old friend- but let’s not dwell on that.

Any who, if only Miss Kiki (you know who you are) lived in London, I know we will certainly be painting the town red a few nights a week but until she or I cross the pond, I will continue to pine for my very own partner in crime. Lord knows it is getting boring staying in watching TV with a tub of ice cream for company- how sad! I need to be out and about looking in every nook and cranny for my next beau, because I am certain that I am not going to find him in the cracks of my couch amongst lost change and food crumbs.

LSGS

Ewwww are you trying to talk to me?

2009-08-04T12:33:00.000+01:00

I know that in my previous posts I have talked about finding my Harry- the slightly unattractive guy who would always love you more than you will him- and settling down, well I certainly did not mean that every ug (short for ugly) can apply.

Even though some of us will never admit to thinking it, we all know our attractive level. We have all looked at a super cute Josh Harnett type and thought either "yes I can have him" or "OMG he is so out of my league". This seems to be something we girls do, but it seems that some men unfortunately do not have this automatic level of attractiveness detector, because if they did why would men who are total toads try to talk to women who are wayyyyy out of their league.

I am not saying that I am so attractive that no man is good enough, what I am saying is that some men sure do have the nerve. Come on now, we have all been there. We will be on the bus minding our own business and reading the London Paper, and then some perve sidles up to you and tries to chat you up. You try to give him the cold "I am not interested" look but he seems immune, you move away as much as you can in a packed bus and he moves right along with you, and just when you feel you about to explode he asks for your number. Those are the men I am referring to.

I can be charitable and give a guy who I might not look twice at a chance, but when an ug decides to give it go then I am sorry my immediate reaction will be "ewwww are you trying to talk to me".

LSGS

Oi Mr Bad boy, show me your tatts!

2009-08-03T18:44:00.000+01:00

J'adore tattooed men! I truly do. It is a major turn on for this 30 year old deprived female. A man who has manly type tattoos will always have me whooshing at his feet. Men with tatts are just super sexy to me. Even a man with a face only a mother could love could suddenly become very sexy with strategically placed tattoos.

It has got to the point where I know that I cannot see myself with a man who is lacking the bad boy stamp of approval. All the men I have crushed on are the manly rugby type, but the ones that have won my heart are the ones with the man tatts- love it.

For example the last date I went on was with a NY Fireman- what an amazing date! What made it amazing was the fact that he was not only a hot, preppy and well spoken man but he had not only 1 0r 2 tatts but 3- I was in heaven. He could only show me 2 as number 3 was in a naughty place- giggle- and we where after all in a family restaurant-lol! By the time our dinner came to an end I had turned into mush and I had the urge to whisper drunkenly (you see I had had too much Chianti) "You had me at your first tatt".

So now that my secret desire for tattooed men is out. I can happily continue my quest for a preppy bad boy with a hot body, fantastic personality and sexy tatts- preferably on the back of the neck!

LSGS

...and then there was one!

2009-08-02T13:39:00.000+01:00

Seeking ones soul mate is a terribly exhausting job, but the balm is the good friends that I surround myself with. I must say that good friends are the hard to come by, especially the older you get. They are the foundation that holds you together whilst you make your way through the sea of unsuitable men. Besides my beloved sister, who is my heart in many ways, I have a collection of core friends who I truly love. They are the ones who love me with all my faults.

Among them is that one friend who is my BFF. She is the one who plots the death of the man who broke your heart, the one who helps you abuse your credit card limit on shopping trips, the one who you share a bottle of wine and nibbles with whilst watching a chick flick and she’s the one whose company completes you in every way. It is with a friend like this that you know you can withstand the heart ache, tears, and happiness that a man can bring to your life.

Now at 30 I am surprised to be finding myself having the same "then there was one" moment as suffered publically by Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag of the Hills fame. The BFF I once had is no more. Our 10 year friendship ended without as much as a backward glance- which was the heartbreak of all heartbreaks.

It has now left just me, myself and I for company, as I continue to wonder around the city of Singleton alone searching for Mister Right, but sometimes settling for Mister Right now.

Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag from the Hills, once Best friends now frenemies- I am defintely team Lauren!

LSGS

Finding my Harry.

2009-08-01T15:38:00.000+01:00

When it comes to finding my Harry, I am not referring to a Harry Winston. Yes a lovely diamond from a dream boat of a man to be placed on my left finger would not be rejected, but when I say I seek my Harry I am talking about a man who adores me regardless of all my faults.

Ok, I am probably not making much sense. Cast your mind back to SATC, do you remember when the beautiful Charlotte met her Harry? He was the kind of guy who we all cross the room to avoid. It is because the majority of women are programmed to not give the Harrys of the dating world an opportunity to love us. I mean who wants to introduce a man who is not much to look at to a bunch of judgmental girlfriends?

By not allowing the Harrys into our lives, I do wonder whether we are denying our right to be truly loved Hollywood chick flick style. Think of how Harry loves Charlotte and all her neuroses. Her taking a chance on Harry, made me realise that my perfect man might not come wrapped up as a 6ft2 tall, dark and handsome but instead could be a quirky, cute adorable man.

I loved that Charlotte, who had married what she, and the majority of us women, considered her perfect match Trey; ended up happily married to a man she would normally not have looked at twice- her Harry.

So it is on this note that I am going to try and not judge a book by its cover or else I will miss my chance to meet my very own Harry who I know will really love me in a way that every woman deserves to be loved- unconditionally.

LSGS

The only 'gay' in the village?

2009-08-01T00:58:00.001+01:00

Sometimes I feel like I am truly the last single girl standing, like the only "gay" in the village-metaphorically speaking of cause - to hijack little Britain's phrase, among the many London couples.

With the majority of my female friends partnered up to men they adore, I feel rather alien being 'the single one' among a sea of smiley couples.

I have to confess that I have been waiting for the perfect man since I discovered boys at around 15. Now 15 years later, I am 30 and I feel that my need for mister right has reached its peak. I now have the urge to marry, settle down and make beautiful babies with my beautiful husband.

I no longer feel the need to prance around fashion parties in my ridiculously high Choo's, sipping champagne and nibbling on canapés whilst worrying about remaining thin and fabulous. I want, actually allow me to re-phrase; I need to find "the one". Where the hell is he?

I know no one can answer that question but I know that if mister right doesn’t shows up soon, the anxious looks from my parents will never stop. I fear that they will always give me pitying looks that say loud and clear " we worry that you will always be on the shelf and will therefore never find and marry a suitable young man from a respectable family".

It does not help that my fears are strengthened every week when my father calls me to question whether "there is a nice young man on the horizon?", and every week my answer does not change- "no dad, not today".

So what’s a girl to do? One friend suggested that I should burn all my chick flick DVDs. She reasoned that I should not learn my lessons on love from such movies, because such love only exists in Hollywood films, but I cannot bring myself to get rid of my beloved dvds. They are my life line; I mean how I would go on if I cannot watch Sense and Sensibility whilst sobbing over love and eating copious amounts of Ben Jerry's Chunky Monkey.

Lastly, "one day my prince will come" and he better be worth the wait, because I know that I did not wait this long for a frog to turn up, because Lord knows I could have had one of those a long time ago.

LSGS